The modern man has the right to choose how he should live, how many women to date, when to marry and whether to have children at all. Family life seems to be full of resentment, frustration, and monotony. This is why many men are already beginning to lead a bachelor lifestyle. They continue to date women, even at times create serious relationships with them. However, bachelors themselves often do not understand what they are condemning themselves to. In the men's magazine, the site will talk about what a blessing and curse a bachelor life is.
We can say that a bachelor is even a kind of pride for the man himself. Now he should not obey a woman, listen to her whims, serve her. If a man does not like something in a relationship with a woman, then he can say goodbye to her at any time.
Some men even begin to be bachelors just because they do not want to be bound by the various obligations and demands of women. Some people envy bachelors, others blame them. Some women fall in love with bachelors, while others avoid them like fire. Thus, bachelorhood can be called both a blessing and a curse, which depends on:
- How the man himself relates to his lifestyle.
- How happy the man himself is with the image he leads.
- How women around a man relate to his lifestyle.
- How dear people the man lost while trying to remain "not attached to anyone."
A bachelor life is a blessing
It is not surprising that many men begin to think about leading a bachelor life, since they see many advantages in it, which they consider to be their blessings:
- A man remains free for all women, despite the fact that he may date someone.
- A man is not obliged to anyone, even if he suddenly has a permanent partner.
- A man should not share his property with anyone. He leaves all his means and benefits to himself after each break in relations.
- A man should not be accountable to anyone, serve, please, obey.
- A man can be anywhere and meet with anyone, without explaining anything to anyone.
- A man is free to do whatever he wants. Nobody will criticize and reproach him when he is unemployed. Nobody will restrict him in meetings with friends. Nobody will reproach him for sure that he sleeps with different women.
A bachelor lives for his own pleasure - and this attracts many men, especially if they have more than once faced misunderstanding and exactingness from women. It is not uncommon for men to become bachelors after a long-term serious relationship, even after a marriage that has fallen apart. Now a man just wants to live for his own sake, and not constantly hear reproaches and the words "you must", "you are obliged", "we do not care what you want."
Bachelorhood for many men becomes a blessing, especially if they have already been in relationships with women. Indeed, many of the fair sex are good only at the stage of the candy-bouquet period. And when everyday life begins, a woman from a beautiful queen turns into a grumpy woman.
Many men have already learned that it is better to keep women away from themselves. It is good to meet with them, sleep, look after them, have a romantic relationship. However, when serious or marriage begins with all household and financial issues, then women turn into "furies", ready to "devour" men with all their giblets. Somewhere love disappears, and women begin to simply sit on the necks of men and constantly demand something.
For someone who has just broken up with a woman, bachelorhood will be for happiness. After all, you can finally live for your own pleasure, not hear criticism from anyone, not scandalize, live calmly and measuredly. In a bachelor life, a man lives the way he wants to, spends his hard earned money on what he wants to buy, spend time as he sees fit - and at the same time, no one has the right to limit him and demand an explanation.
Bachelorhood is a curse
But as it turns out, in a bachelor life, not everything is as smooth as it might seem at first glance. This lifestyle can be a curse, especially if:
- A man cannot start a serious relationship with his beloved woman, which is why she leaves him.
- A man has already forgotten how to love, so he constantly breaks up with wonderful women who are worthy of love and a serious relationship.
- The man is already tired of loneliness and lack of constancy.
- The man already wants a family, children.
At first, a bachelor life can please a man. However, several years will pass, and the man will realize that he is already bored of being constantly alone. He meets women, but their relationship is devoid of sincerity, warmth, honesty, love and constancy. He can walk wherever he wants, but at the same time he does not have a beloved woman who is waiting for him at home with the children.
A man sooner or later gets tired of his bachelor life, where he actually always remains alone. He may have many friends and girlfriends, mistresses and hobbies, but he does not have the closest person - a wife who will build permanent relationships with him, raise common children and create comfort in their joint home.
Being a bachelor can be a curse if a man no longer remembers what it's like to live differently. A bachelor can forever remain a lonely person, because his heart has already become so cold and unaccustomed to sincerity that he will not be able to admit a single woman, no matter how wonderful and beautiful she is.
A curse is when a bachelor can no longer live differently. The situation is even more aggravated when a man no longer wants to be a bachelor.
Why do people lead a bachelor lifestyle?
For some people, love partners are like foreign bodies. Usually such people begin to lead a bachelor lifestyle. It's good for them to be alone. But still, sometimes they try to build permanent love relationships, start a family, turn into family men. As soon as they begin to live with someone else, someone has to pay attention, they immediately begin to feel discomfort.
A loved one is some kind of obligation. Now you have to think not only about your desires, but also about him. Now you must pay attention not only to yourself, but also to him. You must accept him as yourself. There are times when you have to make concessions, "getting on the throat of your own song." And all this is quite natural if you really want to have a relationship with someone.
But there are people - bachelors and bachelors - for whom such an alignment of forces is very tiresome. They are so accustomed to living only for the sake of their own desires that they do not want to obey other people's desires, no matter how petty they may be. This is the first reason why a loved one becomes a "foreign body".
The bachelor is used to living the way he himself decided. He already has every little thing in its place. His daily routine is scheduled in a way that suits him. He does only that and only then, what and when he wanted. But then "someone" appears. This “someone” can be a good person, pleasant, desirable. But since he brings his own rules, desires and traditions into the bachelor life, he seems to become a violator, an enemy, an interfering factor.
This is why people become bachelors: because they are not accustomed to other people using time, resources and strength in their lives. When you create a love relationship, you are giving your partner your available resources in one way or another. If you don’t make time for him, then your relationship is not going to work. If you do everything your own way, then your partner is outraged because his opinion is not taken into account.
A person's unwillingness to make concessions, to share, to allow another to use what he has, and prompts him to become single. "It is better to be alone than to share with another person what I have ... It is much more pleasant to spend time the way I want, without asking someone else's permission and without prejudice to myself in anything ...".
Undoubtedly, bachelorhood has its advantages: you live only for yourself, for your own pleasure, occupy yourself only with what you like. But at the same time, you remain lonely! Is your freedom from other people's whims, desires and opinions worth your loneliness? This is already a question that only you can answer.
Bachelor lifestyle - inability to build a serious relationship
Often people resort to a bachelor lifestyle just because they do not know how to build a serious relationship. Here we can say that a man becomes a bachelor not of his own free will, but out of necessity. He does not know how to build relationships with women so well that they last for many years and remain strong. Whether this is a blessing or a curse for the man himself, it is up to him personally to decide.
A bachelor is a person who simply does not know how to love, open his heart to another person, let a woman into his life and, most importantly, put up with some hardships, compromise, give in and come to terms with some oddities of the opposite sex. In other words, a bachelor is an egoist in the flesh.
A man may want to have a serious and long-term relationship, only he will not be able to do this if he:
- He continues to look for some ideal woman who will suit him in everything.
- He continues to hang out, walk, have fun and at the same time resist any female attempt to pacify him in his festivities.
- He is not able to agree on something with a woman so that the desires of both parties are more or less satisfied.
- Does not want to report, explain, negotiate with a woman, treat her as a partner, and not just a sexual object.
- He is not able to make some concessions, for example, that a woman will throw her clothes around his house or she will demand that he return home immediately after work.
A bachelor life begins when a man does not want to hear a woman's wishes and give in. Since a relationship is a contact between a woman and a man on an equal footing, where both have the right to vote, both are obliged and can demand, both must be heard, the wishes of both must be taken into account, the bachelor cannot switch to a serious relationship, since he no longer considers any woman equal to myself. He is already used to being the main thing in his life. He was already accustomed to obeying only himself. He can no longer stand women's eccentricities and exactingness. Therefore, he often breaks up with another beautiful woman, considering her to be guilty of the failure of the relationship.
Outcome
A bachelor life can be a blessing at one time and a curse at another. Psychologists do not consider a bachelor life a bad thing, if only a man can really get out of it at any moment, when a woman appears in his life with whom he wants to have a serious relationship. However, if a man can no longer stop being a bachelor, then his lifestyle becomes a trap for him.
Single man in his forties - how does he feel? According to research by scientists, by the 45th anniversary, such people feel very insecure and lead a secluded lifestyle. They get annoyed very easily when something knocks them out of their usual rut. Married people, on the other hand, have a more flexible mindset, more easily adapt to the situation and, in general, are more forgiving of others and their own mistakes. But in choosing such a life, bachelors are guided by certain benefits. What are the pros and cons of being a bachelor?
Minuses:
1. Health problems, caused by irregular meals and convenience foods. However, there are gourmets among men who love to cook. However, these same gourmets also love alcohol. And alcohol, even of the most elite brands, strikes a blow on the liver, kidneys and heart. In addition, with age, they begin to lead a sedentary lifestyle - after all, there is no need to look after children and grandchildren.
2. Irregular sex life or its complete absence. Self-willed reclusiveness is bad for libido, and if the connections are casual, there can be health problems. Prostatitis is not the worst disease among bachelors. The very attitude towards a woman in such a situation is transformed - she ceases to be perceived as a person.
3. Low social activity and dedication... A married man takes care of his relatives, starts a dacha or a garden for the family, where he delights in digging in the ground, visits with children, and then with his grandchildren, zoos, walking with them, communicates with other people, solves the problems of a large family and receives this help from them. A single besides himself and, possibly, a cat has no one to take care of. He becomes a selfish consumer without a hint of altruism.
Pros:
1. Low responsibility. The bachelor is responsible only for himself, feeds and provides only for himself. He has more opportunities to build a successful career and achieve high income.
2. Less stress... Family life is a constant test of the strength of the nerves. But nobody straightens the brain and makes him look for compromises, does not interfere with sleep and rest. However, this is a double-edged sword, because it is the family that allows you to temper your character and fully realize yourself in any society.
3. Ability to change your partner. It's easier for a bachelor to break off a relationship and start over. But it is impossible for the rest of your life to jump from one bed to another - there is not enough health and money for this, which in the end negates the two previous advantages.
Sometimes, married men recall their bachelor life with nostalgia. What has changed after marriage? We have conducted a short survey and will tell you what married men lack.
Less frequent family dinners
When a man gets married, the number of visits to family events with your relatives doubles. This was not the case in his bachelor life. So consider your husband's personal space: if you are going to your parents for Christmas, rent a hotel (if finances allow, of course), and do not stay in your parents' house. This will make your loved one feel right at home.
Become more stylish
If your husband dresses tastelessly, then it is not his fault, but, most likely, yours. Become a stylist for him, starting with a small one: "Shirts of light shades suit you this way!", Or point out something in the store, adding that it would look wonderful on your man.
Sometimes buying meaningless things
Did your husband buy a rare baseball with the signature of a famous player? And what did you say, “Congratulations. I thought we were saving up for vacation? At least sometimes indulge even the not entirely justified desires of your husband. We are not talking about constant unjustified squandering. But if your loved one does not abuse his "hobby", try not to react, because the man will begin to feel inferior and dependent when they start to reprimand him.
Have a woman who always listened to you carefully
Men feel needed and in demand when they are listened to attentively and enthusiastically. But in family life, it is difficult for a woman to perceive the stories that she has already heard a million times. But if your husband begins to retell another story in a new circle, do not interrupt him with the phrase: "Yes, I have already heard that." What should you take 5 minutes to listen to? Just a couple of questions and your spouse is happy. If this option does not suit you, then when meeting your husband from work, kiss him and ask him with interest about the past day.
Be awkward
Sometimes men make a little chaos - to scatter their things without feeling the strange look of their wife on themselves. When you scold your husband for scattered things, you look more like an angry parent than your beloved. If your husband cannot live in a tidied house, then divide the household duties by giving him those that he most often "breaks": leaves dirty dishes - let him wash the dishes, scatter things - let them fold and wash.
Don't feel constant emotional attacks
As a bachelor, he only solved his own problems. And now yours have naturally shifted onto his shoulders. Before complaining about your colleague and other incidents after work, wait at least half an hour for your spouse to come to his senses after work. And then you can already talk about the "painful".
Make small decisions
Men often indulge the desires of women and give them the right to choose in such matters as: what radio station to listen to in the car, what color of walls to choose, where to go on vacation ... Try to involve your husband in solving such trifles, replacing the wording “Let's do / see / choose this ”To“ What would you like to do / see / choose ”. Try to find a compromise in everything.
Evaluate other women
Men love with their eyes, so it is quite normal for them to appreciate a passing woman. And if you constantly pay attention to this, a man feels like a guilty little child. He just appreciates the beauty, and not necessarily going to drag this woman into bed. If your spouse does not know how to "evaluate" so that no one notices, but does it openly, then share with him your admiration for a phrase similar to the following: "Yes, you are right, she is really a hot thing."
Eh, a bachelor life is good! As the main heroine of the movie, a girl, said: "I want halva, I want gingerbread!" Indeed, the question of the choice of food, drinks and personal pastime concerns only one single person. For some, loneliness is cruel karma, for others, sweet freedom. A bachelor life has a lot of advantages or is woven from some disadvantages, everyone decides for himself.
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The first option for a bachelor life. The man has never been married. He is suspicious of the fair sex, as a teenager he was ridiculed by a pretty classmate and now one glance at a man in a skirt causes strong tremors and excitement. The guy dresses clumsily, gets his hair cut in the style of the 80s, watches programs in the evenings and drags out his existence miserably. His life goes in a circle: work is at home.
Sex fact
Men are much more serious about parting with their loved ones than women.
He is engaged in a vegetable garden or fishing. Sometimes he agrees to meet the "second cousin-in-law" of an elderly neighbor, in the hope that a worthy woman will turn up for him. The man suffers from loneliness. He longs to have a clever woman and a hostess in the house, with whom they can create coziness and respectful relations. A young (or not so) person does not particularly believe in love, since he has not yet met confirmation of a bright feeling.
To a greater extent, he is attracted by simple nondescript ladies who look like him. Bright and emotional women scare away an inveterate bachelor. He tries in every possible way to avoid communication with them, so that God forbid, do not let the "fury" into his heart and not experience the pain of disappointment and loss. A man is bad and sad in loneliness. He sadly spends his next birthday with a sad look out the window and dreams every day: "When will I get married!"
Quote of the Day
You always sleep worse in someone else's bed.
Colette
Quote of the Day
The basis of divine eroticism is the usual rubbing of the skin.
Theodore Van Gehren
Quote of the Day
Dirty books are rarely covered in dust.
Unknown American author
Free and happy 2
The second type of bachelor life has a completely opposite structure. The guy enjoys his freedom and uses all the positive aspects of his being. Basically, he looks after himself and dresses up in fashionable clothes, but sometimes he allows him to relax: lounging on the couch, not shaved and not washed in a stretched T-shirt. He lives alone and spends time for his own pleasure.
The boy works and spends money on entertainment with friends or on numerous dates with different beauties. Lovelace know a lot of ways how to drag a favorite beauty into bed and how to get rid of her beautifully. He absolutely does not suffer from the lack of female caring hands in the house: sweaty T-shirts and smelly socks are washed by an automatic machine, dinner is prepared by a multicooker ... He learned how to cook a branded omelet, boil purchased dumplings and is quite satisfied with his own diet.
In principle, beer with fish in the company of cheerful friends is much more interesting than a boring dinner in the company of borscht and some woman. The young man conquers women's hearts with pleasure without caring about the future. He has a great weekend, vacation, holidays. His life is full of interesting events and vivid impressions.
He frowns and laughs off the question of his relatives: "When, are you getting married?" Why not get to know a pretty woman and spend another evening with her? Most man disagrees. Perhaps somewhere deep in his soul he longs for a meeting with that one and only, but every time, saying goodbye to another lady and not experiencing any heartache, he sighs with relief: "Ugh, it has blown ..."
Lonely man's den 3
The dwelling of bachelors looks in accordance with the lifestyle of its owner. It can be a landscaped oasis, a studio apartment with all sorts of conveniences and household technologies, or a “homeless man’s hut” with scattered socks, pants, beer bottles and greasy sheets. Most single men benefit from the caring help of a loving mom. The decor of the house reflects the adult woman's vision of everyday life. The bed is covered with cotton sheets, the flowers are watered, the cutlets are in the pan, the panties are ironed.
Mom day and night cares about the well-being of her daughter-in-law, looking for a suitable passion for the "dear", not forgetting to harshly criticize every madam in a skirt who appears on the doorstep of a dear child. Regularity: the older the son becomes, the stricter the "casting" is. The son, as a result, gets used to the overprotection of the parent, compares women to the mother, and finds fault with every "gap".
"Girls" for marriage 4
In women, bachelorhood has similar parameters. Some ladies drag out a lonely existence painfully. They are ready to marry the first comer, give birth to children and enthusiastically cook borscht for their spouse. Others enjoy freedom and, with the steadfastness of a tin soldier, reject every hand and heart that worthy gentlemen wish to offer them. Women are divided into two categories: free and single.
Lonely people dream of marriage, raising children and household chores associated with marriage. Free people enjoy independence. They easily break men's hearts, improve, dream of a career, world fame, a trip around the world or a new dress, but not family troubles. Usually, both of them have the same image and reasons that led them to their present position.
Single women have the following symptoms:
- Insecure "gray mice" with a lot of complexes.
- Pretty ladies who tend to take care of men like little children.
- Excellent housewives who know a bunch of recipes for making apple pie, excellent gardeners who have created their own variety of cucumbers. They are so immersed in household chores, forgetting about their own attractiveness and sexuality.
Free women are more heartbreakers, so they are not indifferent to their appearance and wardrobe. They know how to maintain a conversation, make tea, dance and conquer men with a smile. For unknown reasons, they force the representatives of the stronger sex to see them as a "life partner", but having received an offer to live together, the young ladies are afraid. They are ready to run away, take cover, change the topic of conversation or delay for a long time with an answer, and they have a lot of good reasons for such a reaction:
- Disappointment in the first (or main) love in your life. The girl still keeps in her heart the image of a guy who has offended or hurt the feelings of a “fool” in love.
- Bad marriage, painful divorce. One of the popular reasons most women shy away from marriage. The former spouse could turn out to be a tyrant, an egoist, demanding strict obedience, impeccable order in the house and variety in food. A woman is tired of obeying, obeying, receiving cuffs (not a rare occurrence in modern families) and acting contrary to her own desires. She is afraid to take her relationship with a new partner, even a loved one, to a serious level, so as not to repeat the sad experience. In most cases, her decision is supported by the presence of children from her first marriage. The woman is worried that the relationship between the child and the stepfather may not work out.
- In searching of love. Lyudmila is looking for the noble Ruslan, and she comes across plain Ivans and Lesha. Where are you, my soul mate? Some women firmly believe in the presence of a soul mate and hesitate to get married, waiting for a meeting with the betrothed "mummer". And such a meeting can happen tomorrow, in a week, a year or thirty years. But romantic ladies are patient and persistent in their desire. Let him be gray-haired and wrinkled, but it will be "the same man"!
Whatever the motives of both single and free women, sooner or later, each of them will sigh dreamily (or bitterly), looking after the tenderly kissing lovers. This is how she is, female nature.
Age is not a hindrance to happiness 5
A person's life seems to be built according to the established scenario: "Grew up, studied, worked, got married." But not everyone has this view. Despite the fact that most of the population of the planet Earth automatically acts according to generally accepted principles, "white crows" want to arrange life according to their own rules. Who said that the girl's age is short, and after 25 the girl does not shine personal happiness?
Modern women look luxurious having crossed the fortieth line, and with a crowd of promising fans behind them. The same can be said about men who keep themselves in shape and are able to conquer young girls.
Both married and bachelor life are filled with advantages and disadvantages, and each person should decide for themselves in which direction to move.
The pros of a free life 6
A bachelor life seems sweet and inviting. Indeed, when a person is not burdened with the attitudes and opinions of another individual, he enjoys various "benefits of the world":
- The financial side. No one will reproach for a small salary, will not release most of the income for "unforeseen expenses." A bachelor spends money on his beloved, saves up for vacation, buys what he has long dreamed of. It could be a car, a new handbag, a radio-controlled plane, or a porcelain doll that a woman has dreamed of since childhood. No one will contradict and interfere with spending finances at their own discretion.
- A home to your liking. The atmosphere in the apartment and the order in it depends on one single owner (or mistress). You can throw clothes left and right or create a flower greenhouse out of the living room - no one will say a word. There is no one to grumble about the reigning disorder and there is no need to shout displeasedly after someone: "Do not trample, only washed the floors!"
- Eating royally. Halva and gingerbread are always available. Today borsch for lunch and pizza tomorrow for dinner. Or ice cream. Or a glass of dessert wine.
- With whom I want, I am friends with that. Guests come to the house when the owner decides, and not the sullen wife or strict spouse. You can arrange hen parties, bachelor parties, go with an overnight stay to relatives or friends - whatever your heart desires. Nobody will order in a threatening tone into the phone: "Home immediately!" It seems that this is called: to live for your own pleasure.
- Rest for the soul. The bachelor decides for himself where, when and with whom he will spend the weekend, vacation or holidays. That year the celebration was held among relatives, this year it is planned to be in a restaurant in a friendly company. And there are also cooperatives with interesting employees ... Eh-eh!
- Hobbies and hobbies. An important fact for creative individuals. The picture is touching when the newly-made husband, in the voice of a strict mother, orders a young wife: "Forget about your dances, you have a family now!" That's it, the end. Finish strip. There are also despots among women who forbid their husbands to go fishing, play musical instruments or write poetry. Lifemates consider having a family a serious step, for the sake of which it is required to abandon "oneself" and join the gray mass of everyday life.
Bachelors list the huge advantages of a free life and shrug their shoulders in fright at every mention of marriage.
Cons of bachelor life 7
In defense of married life, it is worth mentioning the disadvantages associated with the life of bachelors. They are not unimportant and have a rather big advantage:
- Absence of a native shoulder. So I want to come home from work, complain to a loved one about a harmful boss, an employee Lariska or overtime tasks, and there is no one at home except a dried cactus and a hungry cat. The other half will support, listen, and regret. And loneliness is not.
- Financial and home help. It is not always easy to pull off household chores on your own. Men need a hostess to clean and feed, and women need a man's hand to turn the tap and turn on a light bulb. The storage space is easier to save up for a new car or your own home.
- Lack of sex. A free life is full of a variety of sexual partners, and having a family gives the right to daily sex. There is no need to look for a woman or a man to satisfy carnal desires when the other half is waiting in a warm bed.
- Lonely Holidays. Friends and girlfriends tend to start families and then bachelors spend the holidays in unfamiliar companies or all alone. And, I want so much, like in the movies: a Christmas tree in balls, joyful kids, your favorite life partner next to you.
Philosophers say: "It doesn't matter that there is no loved one nearby, the main thing is that there is not a loved one nearby." Correct thought. Perhaps bachelors are right to remain lonely before they meet a soul mate. Who will give up love and family happiness if he meets the other half of his heart.